Over the last week I have been thinking about what it means to support those around me but in particular the women as we live in an unequal society. I’ve read about the importance of having a support system around you and how a support system can improve your ability to manage stress, improve your mental health and decrease the levels of anxiety.
I wrote a little while ago about how I think patriarchy has screwed women over by making us compete with each other in unhealthy ways. This post is a bit of a follow up because having a support system is great and that all makes so much sense to me. But I want to be able to support those around me I know and love definitely but also the women around me I see working hard to be acknowledge in their field of expertise and heard without excuse, context or a premise.
Where has this come from? Well, at work in my team the women are very supportive of each other. We are all very, very different. One is empathetic and very good at coming up with ideas, the other authoritative and strategic, I am honest, objective and get stuff done. We all have different strengths.
However, outside my team there are some women who clearly don’t like me. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago and when I presented an idea to improve our digital engagement the reaction I got was not positive.
It was clear that they were not convinced by my idea which is fair. But, instead of asking for clarification I was met by scoffs and tuts. A passive aggressive “everything is digital” was thrown in there too.
I hear friends joke about how work can be like being back at school, in this case it was.
So why am I telling you all this? Basically, I think that there are practical ways that as women we can have each other’s back – this if for the men too (but I find the women are the serial offenders). Here are some ideas:
- Accept that you won’t be best friends with everyone but be friendly and respectful to all you come across. I find that even just saying “good morning” to everyone as you walk into the office can go a long way.
- Celebrate the success of the women around you and when something good happens to them say “congratulations”, “well done”, “I’m happy for you” – their success is not your demise.
- Be a leader and a team player. When it is your time to lead, lead with confidence. When it is not your time to lead, have your manager or leader’s back. If you have a validate point to raise think about mentioning it in a one-to-one setting.
- Learn from the women around you and other people’s successes and failures. If someone has done what you’re doing, ask them about it. I have not met anyone who is not willing or open to give advice (weigh whether it is good or bad advice).
- Be a mentor or be mentored. Generational differences can be such an advantage because you can help those coming up behind you or get help from someone who is further up the professional ladder to you.
I feel like I may be stepping into glossy women’s magazine “top-tips” territory. But , the point is, I want to have your back and I want you to have mine. I think this is the case particularly at work, because gender inequality can often be the most visible at work. Let’s change that!
Feminist Friday Says #FFS 